Brick by Brick
by KelliP
Summary: Post-ep for 5x10 Significant Others. The conversation they need to have now they're out of the honeymoon phase. Because Kate Beckett's poor heartbroken, insecure face needed to be fixed.


**A/N:** So… here's a post-ep, just because I had some serious re-surfacing 'Limey' feels after the ending. Even though I'm trying to stay more intrigued than concerned as to where they're going with this (because how can they have a show if they break up and Castle doesn't follow Beckett?), I just couldn't let it go.

Also because who didn't love how they brought back the forever-unspellable s'morelette?

* * *

**BRICK BY BRICK**

* * *

"Soufflés are wonderful, but sooner or later they always fall."

* * *

Beckett pushed a wedge of omelette around on her plate instead of eating it, the quiet tinkle of her metal fork knocking against the ceramic floating up to her ears. Meredith's words were echoing in her mind, a constant, haunting loop that pricked at her heart and sunk it low in her chest.

The redhead was right. On the surface, Castle may live his life out in the open for all to see. When it came down to what was important, though, how much did she really know?

And he'd always accused _her_ of being the one who was closed off.

"All right," Castle interrupted suddenly, voice both gentle and curious. "Talk."

Beckett lifted her head to match his stare and blinked. "I'm sorry?"

From his seat at the breakfast bar beside her, he blew out a steady sigh and set his fork down on the table. "You've barely had a bite. Do you not like it?"

She shrugged casually, finally stabbing the wedge she'd cut off with her fork, yet making no move to pop it in her mouth. "It's fine," she lied. She hadn't even touched it yet. "I'm just- not really hungry."

"Which I would believe if you hadn't been silent ever since Meredith left," Castle noted. "Look, I get it, okay? I messed up. I _really_ messed up. But I've already promised it won't happen again, and now she's gone. So can't we just enjoy one last breakfast before you leave?"

She nodded and picked up her fork to resume appearances, but her mind was still distant. Her eyes fell to stare absently at her plate as Meredith's words mocked her again. They settled a dark cloud over her head that she couldn't shake off, opened up a hole beneath her feet that she spiralled further and further down, the words nagging and never leaving her mind.

"What did she say to you?"

Beckett didn't dare look at him. Just kept her head low to avoid meeting his eyes.

"Kate-"

"Just forget it," she interrupted with a shake of her head. "It's nothing. So, thank you for breakfast, but- I should go."

She hadn't even risen from her seat when his fingers curled tight around her elbow, preventing her escape.

"Why won't you tell me what is obviously bothering you?" he questioned on a whisper.

The accusation slipped off her tongue before she realised what she was saying. "Why won't _I_ talk to _you_?"

He paused, eyes buzzing rapidly as he backtracked the morning in his mind. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that it's a bit hypocritical of you to always be accusing _me_ of being the private one."

Confusion creased Castle's forehead. "You _are_ a private person, though."

"Yeah, I am. But just because you live your life on page six doesn't mean you're an open person."

He didn't say anything at first. Just studied her, taking in the lines of her face as if he were trying to read a book. Beckett pressed her lips tight together, tried to carefully school her features and give nothing away.

"You're doing it right now," he told her. "You're building up your walls up right now. I can see it. You press your lips together, keep your cheeks taut and eyes straight. But there's the faintest of blushes that rises to your cheeks and gives you away, lets me know I'm hitting home."

"This isn't a conversation about me," she growled, more out of frustration he knew her tell than anything else.

"So then tell me what it _is_ about."

Becket clenched her jaw in a last-ditch attempt not to concede, but his baby blues were piercing, wore her down. The fact he shouldn't _have_ to wear her down briefly crossed her mind- that she should be as open and honest as she's asking of him- but she pushed that thought aside for the time being.

"I-" She sighed and lowered her head, suddenly ashamed of the conversation she'd had with his ex-wife. "I asked Meredith why the two of you didn't work."

There was a moment of silence before Castle finally spoke, voice low and careful and all too accusing. "You asked _her_?" he questioned. "Why wouldn't you ask me?"

She kept her lips pressed together. There was no good answer to that question.

"I don't know," she admitted truthfully. "I was just- curious."

"And yet you still didn't ask me. You went behind my back to my ex-wife." His tone was laced with an obvious hurt at her betrayal that pricked at her heart, sank a nauseating weight in her stomach that she so completely deserved.

Beckett canted her body toward his and rested a gentle hand on his thigh. "So tell me now," she encouraged him on a whisper. "Open up to me."

He didn't. Just shifted on his seat, legs swinging away so her hand slid off his thigh. "What, so you can compare our stories?" he commented immaturely. "Decide who's telling the truth?"

She blew out a frustrated huff and spun away on her chair too so she didn't have to look at him any longer. How a simple breakfast spiralled out of hand so quickly she didn't know, but it _was_ her fault, and she had to fix it.

"I understand I messed up, all right?" she admitted her mistake. "I shouldn't have gone behind your back to ask Meredith about your divorce. And I want to fix this so you trust me again, I do, but I'm not going to talk to you if you insist on being childish."

Castle held up two open palms in defence. "Yeah. All right. I'm sorry," he apologised, voice softer now. Too soft, the hurt having returned to lace his tone once again. "Just- would you just tell me what Meredith said to you to make you hate me so suddenly?"

"I don't hate you, Castle," she responded softly with a shake of her head. "I could never hate you."

"Then _what_?" he rasped. "Because right now you're looking at me like you don't know whether this is going to last, and that's a look I _never_ want to see on your face."

Oh, no. Never, Castle.

"No," she whispered. "No. Never. I'm sorry. She just- she mentioned the reason you two broke up was because she didn't know anything about you. That it didn't matter how much she let you in, you didn't do the same. And-"

When she didn't continue, Castle placed a prying hand over hers. "And, what?"

"And she's _right_."

He shook his head immediately. "No, she's not."

"Yes, Castle. She is. I may know your favourite colour is red, or that you like your bacon crispy, but you're always using humour as a defence mechanism. Whenever things become too real or too serious, you always crack a joke. I know it's just your way of coping, but-"

"Sometimes it makes me seem like a jackass," he finished in a low voice.

"I wouldn't say jackass," she cracked a half-smile. "But it does mean you have a tendency to be… _reserved_ about the things in life that are important."

To that, Castle said nothing.

Beckett pressed her lips together, afraid she'd taken this conversation too far and has seriously offended him. She lifted one hand, reached out to play with the collar of his dark shirt for a moment before splaying her fingers across his neck. "I know being private is often construed as being cold," she continued softly. "But it's not. _You're_ not. It just means you're selective about who you open up to. I know because I'm the same. All I'm asking for is to be one of those people."

Still, Castle said nothing. Just kept silent with his eyes focused firmly on the ground, the lines of his face taut in deep consideration.

"Did you not know?" she asked him quietly. "That Meredith thought you never opened up?"

He blew out a long sigh, ran his fingers through his hair as he spoke. "Yeah, I knew," he told her on a disappointed tone, whether in himself or Meredith- or _her_- Beckett didn't know. "And I'll admit that it was _part_ of the reason I've been divorced twice, but it's not the whole story, Kate."

"So _tell_ _me_, Castle," she pleaded on a whisper. "Tell me. Prove her wrong. Let me in."

His face scrunched, mouth parting and closing ever so slightly as he tried to find the right words to begin. "Neither Meredith nor Gina ever bothered to tell me how closed off I could be," he started the story gradually, worked up to his two divorces. "Not until years after we divorced, at least. They… they never made any real effort to make the marriage last. They either slept with their producer, or handed me the divorce papers with the morning paper. And that doesn't make them bad people, and it doesn't mean it's any one person's fault; it just means I shouldn't have married them. They weren't right for me. The relationships weren't ones I was ever supposed to be in."

She bit her lip. "And… _our_ relationship?" Beckett questioned hesitantly. She flicked both her eyebrows up and tried to keep her tone light, but her eyes were telling, wide and begging for an answer.

Castle spun his stool to face her and placed both his hands on her thighs. With the brightness having returned to his baby blues, he offered her a small, sweet smile. "Our relationship is different, Kate."

Beckett covered his hands with hers, but dropped her eyes from his gaze. "I'm being ridiculous, aren't I?"

Out of the top arch of her pupil, she saw Castle's blurry outline shake its head. "Insecurities aren't ridiculous, Kate. God knows I have enough of them."

She paused, slowly peering up at him through thick lashes. "_You_? Insecure?" She barely managed to hold back the snort.

Castle shot her a look that screamed _are you kidding me_? "Don't you know how _hot_ you are? I keep waiting for the day you realise how much better than me you can do, when you let some other guy snatch you up."

She pressed her lips together to fight the oncoming smile and shook her head. "Nope. Not going to happen. You're stuck with me."

With that, she covered what little distance remained between them and slanted her lips across his, humming contently as he returned the kiss just as enthusiastically.

"Just talk to _me_ in the future?" he pleaded softly when they broke apart.

She let out a breath of laughter. "Yeah," she promised him.

That she could do. That she _would_ do, because this wasn't all on him. If she didn't ask, he wouldn't tell.

Sitting there, Beckett suddenly realised just how much of herself Castle knew. He knew the deepest, darkest parts of her. He knew how she buried herself in her mother's murder, he'd seen just how unsteady she could become, how easily she could break. Somewhere over the last four years, he'd taken the time to dig deeper than her surface. Peel open each one of her layers, learn every part of her. He'd taken the time to memorise it for the future, to help bear the weight of her shortcomings so she didn't struggle with them own her own.

Now, it was time she helped to bear the weight of his hopes and fears and innermost secrets, whatever they might be.

"I'm sorry for not realising you have walls too, Castle," she apologised.

He dismissed her apology with a quick shake of his head. "Not your fault. My problem to work on."

No. It wasn't. Brick by brick he'd taken down her walls, and she would help him do the same.

"And, I'm sorry for ruining breakfast." She glanced down at her now-cold omelette, the waves of warm steam having stopped rising long ago.

Once again, he shook his head. "Easy fix," he told her. "I'm going to zap this-" He held up the whole omelette still sitting on her plate, "-in the microwave, we're going to make out for the sixty or so seconds it'll take to re-heat, and then we're going to sit and enjoy breakfast before you head home once again."

Beckett cracked a smile. Locking lips _was_ pretty great.

The omelette, on the other hand, was not. She'd barely popped the bite in her mouth for a moment before she was reaching for a napkin, a disgusted look on her face as she turned to scowl at Castle.

"Is there _chocolate_ in this?"


End file.
